you know, he's actually right. dad says i deserve way better than this boy could ever hope to be... maybe he's right. i think if this boy would wake up he could be a great man, but that isn't my choice. i think this boy just threw away the best thing that ever happened to him. i hope this boy thinks it's worth it.

and as i run back to God and my life starts to come back together, he continues to run from God and destroy everything he cares about. but wait! that's my fault too.

oh well. his loss. plain and simple. i deserve a real man, one that will actually love me, and will show me. a real man who would actually be happy i was coming home. a real man who wouldn't force me to be the only one working. a real man that would show me that i mean something to him. a real man that would mirror God's love instead of just lip-service.

a real man.